What turns men off?

Why do men abruptly and unexpectedly stop dating or calling a woman?

What causes a man to loose his respect, interest and desire for a woman, when clearly just yesterday, he was in hot pursuit of her?

Here are the top reasons that a man’s desire, passion and regard for a woman will suddenly change to indifference, apathy and even disdain.

Top 12 Fatal Dating Mistakes

1. Drinking Too Much: Getting drunk makes you appear sloppy, incoherent and obnoxious, not to mention that it lowers your objection/inhibition to casual, promiscuous sex. Unless a man enjoys overindulging in alcoholic beverages as much as you do, he will probably mark your inebriated self off as a serious relationship candidate. Moreover, continue to get smashed in front of a date and you will continue to: (A) attract men with equally objectionable drinking behavior, and (2) turn off the desirable men you are genuinely attracted to.

2. Bad Mouthing Your Exes: Openly criticizing anyone makes you, not your ex, look bad. Moreover, it causes a man wonder: what were your nasty, dysfunctional traits that contributed to the breakup of your relationship?

3. Emphasis on Money: Talking too much about yours or his money, possessions (e.g. income, automobiles, houses, clothes, jewelry and trips) and social status lets a man know that a relationship with you is going to cost him plenty. But if this is your gig and you want to know if a man is equally shallow, deck out in a high-dollar outfit, a couple of David Yurman bracelets, Jimmy Choo shoes and a 3-carat diamond ring (he won’t know if it’s a CZ), talk about your weekends at the Hamptons and your winters in Boca Rotan. If he sticks around, you’ve hooked a meal ticket; if not, you can move on to the next chump.

4. Negative Attitudes and Inconsiderate Behavior: Negativity in general is a downer for anyone. But rude behavior and condescending remarks towards others (it happens most frequently in a restaurant with poor staff service) tells a man he’ll be on the receiving end of your nasty attitude all too soon.

5. Talking Incessantly About Yourself: Talking ceaselessly about yourself is the hallmark of low self-esteem. Hogging the conversation says you’re a bore. Bragging and boasting screams insecurity and conceit. Avoid this triple threat if you want to garner a man’s interest.

6. Talking Too Much (in general) makes you appear nervous and insecure. Overcome your tendency to run your mouth by concentrating on him. Ask him light-hearted questions: What are his favorite vacation destinations? What are his accomplishments, special interests or hobbies (you can spend hours there)? Ask about his children (if they’re not drug addicts or school drop-outs). Showing a sincere interest in a man will boost his ego (assuring you of a second date). Get himself to talk about himself will help you forget you were nervous and insecure.

7. Talking About the Men in Your Past: No man wants to compete with the men from your past—dead or alive. Period!

8. Talking about your problems: Your trouble at work; your fight with a girlfriend; unruly kids; weight or health issues; overdrawn bank accounts and late mortgage payment; addictions and compulsive behavior—heck! give that girl another martini and she’ll tell her date that the big guy at the end of the bar is her ex-boyfriend-stalker.

9. Jealously and Mistrusting Behavior: Over-reacting when a man speaks to another woman, drilling him about his past relationships; calling to repeatedly check up on him—please tell me you’re not driving by his house at midnight. These are dating no-no’s and the destructive behavior of a possessive, controlling, needy, insecure woman—all of which will destroy a man’s interest, regard, and even his love for you.

• The exception is: if a guy is overly flirtatious with another woman; he makes overt sexual or admiring comments about other women; he repeatedly talks about the women in his past; he compares you in an unflattering way to other women, or he drops innuendos that are covertly designed to boost his ego or make you jealous—Girlfriend, what are you waiting for? Kick that self-gratifying jerk to the side of the road!

10. Chasing a Man: Akin to chasing a man is making yourself too available. Both dilute a man’s motivation to pursue you. You know the drill; men are hunters and they love the challenge of the pursuit. Chase a man and you will rob him of his opportunity to fulfill his masculine role. Likewise, you will forfeit your feminine opportunity to feel valued and desired by a man. Give a man a chance to show you want he can do; you may be pleasantly surprised. If not, trust me—he’s not the man for you.

11. Sex Too Soon: He’s lying if he tells you he’ll respect you the next morning. Cave in for sex too soon and in the AM he’ll be thinking, “Great sex, but man, what a push-over.” And if you were drunk, as well, he’ll think you’re a slutty-lush. Enjoy your sleep over; it may be the only one you have with this guy!

12. Drama Queen: Want to see a man run like his pants are on fire? Show him your emotionally charged self in the early stages of dating. Angry outbursts, over-reacting, whining, crying and screaming will put a man on high alert. Save the drama until a man is emotionally committed to you; he will be more understanding and supportive of your (ahem) mood swings. In the meantime, get a grip—have a glass of wine, a soothing sauna and a Prozac; otherwise he’ll think he’ll have to work overtime to stay in a relationship with you.

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Want to learn how to be a confident, intriguing, poised woman who attracts desirable men? I spell it out in Part 2: “Dating New Men” and Part 4: Discovering Self-Confidence” in my new book Secrets of the Ultimate Husband Hunter.

Either you are attracting and keeping the interest of men . . . or you are sabotaging your relationships and pushing men away with your self-defeating attitudes and behavior.

In my book I spell out the magnetic attributes that gain a man’s interest, cause him to earnestly pursue you, and ultimately win his love, respect and devotion.

Truly every woman can achieve the traits, attitudes and behavior that attract desirable men . . . it’s all in what you say, what you do and how you respond to man.

If you are open to truth, enlightenment and change, I invite you to order my book today on the links below.

Let the safari begin.